Never Ending Story
by midnightangel16
Summary: Summery inside.... I promise you this is good i am so proud of it....R&R X3X3
1. Chapter 1: My Decemeber

a/n: hi ppl I decided to work on a new piece……one of my favorite yaoi anime's LOVELESS!!!!  I really hope you enjoy it…I know I did…..hehehehe…I strongly suggest listening to "My December" by Linkin Park….ENJOY!!!

_**NEVER ENDING STORY**_

-Summery-

It's another cold December night and I'm once again lying in my room listening to my mothers cries of sorrow…I can't stand it…the pain in her cries…the guilt look on her face……even the pain she puts on me when ever I do something that reminds her of…HIM… where are you when I need you Soubi…where could you have gone…I need you now more than ever…please…save me from this hell Soubi…save me from the very thing that eats me up inside…save me…from…HIM…

Pairings: Soubi/Ritsuka

Chapter One: My December; My Darkness

Rain…

Lightening…

Thunder…

All of these three combined create the perfect December storm…perfect weather to celebrate HIS birthday… (Now I don't really know his brother's birthday so just go along with it) darkness is what covers my room…nothing but darkness…. (LIGHTENING CRACKS THROUGH THE SKY WHILE THUNDER ROARS THROUGH THE AIR) why...why does she put me through this…why can't she just except the fact that he's gone and he's never coming back…just like Soubi's never coming back…after he promised me he still left without a goodbye…or even… a kiss…he blushed at this though…

This is my December  
This is my time of the year  
This is my December  
This is all so clear

FLASHBACK

"_If it ever comes to that……I'd rather give my life then to see you suffer…" _

_The two held each other for dear life as if the world around them was about to end right now… as Soubi looked up from the young ones head he noticed a fading figure in the distance, instantly knowing exactly who it was that was spying on them…_

This is my December  
This is my snow-covered home  
This is my December  
This is me alone 

"_I promise to always be here with you…I promise to always protect you..." with that vow made he gently life Ritsuka's face upward and placed a gentle upon his cold lips that tasted of winter snow…_

_Ritsuka closed his eyes and let Soubi place his arms around his small form…feeling the warmth coming from such a kiss…he then placed his fingers in Soubi's hair gliding his fingers through his tresses…letting one single tear fall from his eyes…a tear of pure happiness…_

END OF FLASHBACK

And I  
Just wish that I didnt feel  
Like there was something I missed  
And I  
Take back all the things I said  
To make you feel like that  
And I  
Just wish that I didn't feel  
Like there was something I missed  
And I  
Take back all the things I said to you 

'It's been an entire year and I still can't get him out of my mind…why did he leave…why?'

As Ritsuka thinks this he fails to notice the dark figure peering through his balcony doors...the figure slides the door open quietly so not to disturb him and slides it shut again…he slowly walks over to the figure lying on the bed…in deep thought…

Ritsuka still does not notice the new intruder that has invaded his room until he feels a single drop of water hit his sensitive ears… "Huh?" he looks up and is shocked at who he sees... "S...SOUBI?!?!?!?" tears begin to falls down the sides of his face as he feels a frail hand caress his face while Soubi spoke…

And Id give it all away  
Just to have somewhere to go to  
Give it all away  
To have someone to come home to

"Why are you crying my Ritsuka? Are you not happy to see me?" it was then Soubi's turn to be in shock as the young child jumped into his arms bringing his arms around Soubi's neck in a tight yet loving hold… "You just disappeared after the fight…you promised to stay with me…and protect me…but…you ended up leaving me…why did you leave me…why was I left alone without you…why…WHY?!?!?!?!" he then felt Soubi's arms pull him into a loving hold as well…it was then that Ritsuka noticed Soubi's attire…

Soubi's was drenched in rain from top to bottom…he was wearing a very thin, see through, sky blue, long-sleeve shirt…with his usual black jeans…and no shoes… his hair was of course set down and it clung to his face and back…he was not wearing his usual glasses but it did not matter at the moment for all Ritsuka wanted to see was Soubi's beautiful eyes…the eyes he fell in love with…it was then his eyes noticed something else on his body…which he was not ready for…

This is my December  
These are my snow-covered trees  
This is me pretending  
This is all I need 

"Soubi what happened to you?" he moved his hand to the scar on Soubi's chest where his name _BELOVED _ resided…it had been slashed over by something…or someone… he felt Soubi shiver once he touched the wound… "I'll be right back…" he left the room quickly and just like he promised he came back, and with a medical kit in hand… he then gestured to Soubi to open up his shirt and to sit on his bed…even though he was soaking wet… Soubi did what he was told to do…after all…Ritsuka is still his "master"…

As Soubi opened up his shirt wide enough to where Ritsuka could see the wound he noticed the blush that appeared on Ritsuka's face… "Don't be shy…you have seen me like this before…have you not?" Ritsuka shook his head and began to take out the needed supplies and looked over the wound… "How long have you had this wound?" "Three weeks" "Well your lucky it didn't get infected…or else…I would have had to cut you open…" but instead of the serious look Soubi just smiled at Ritsuka's actions…he then took Ritsuka's hand, making him drop the bandage tape, and brought it to his lips…where he placed a gentle kiss on each and every finger tip…he then looked up at Ritsuka and saw a look of want and need in his eyes…and he wanted to be the one to fulfill that desire…

And I  
Just wish that I didnt feel  
Like there was something I missed  
And I  
Take back all the things I said  
To make you feel like that  
And I  
Just wish that I didnt feel  
Like there was something I missed  
And I  
Take back all the things that I said to you 

"Soubi…I have to finish or the wound might get infected…" Soubi then brought his hand over his wound and all that was left of it was a scar… "You don't have to worry about it anymore…and I'm sorry for not being here when you needed me the most…and I'm sorry for not being here to stop her…" Ritsuka then looked up to Soubi in utter shock not believing what he just heard….

And Id give it all away  
Just to have somewhere to go to  
Give it all away  
To have someone to come home to

"What?"

This is my December  
This is my time of the year  
This is my December  
This is all so clear 

"You don't have to pretend…I've had…THEM…watching over you and they report back to me…plus you were limping when…when you went to go to get the medical kit…" he then began to shed tears he had been holding back for quite some time…he then pulled Ritsuka into his arms even though he was drenched in rain… "I'm sorry for not being there when I had promised you along time ago that I would be here with you….and to protect you…I'm so sorry for the pain and sorrow you had to go through alone…" he then tightened his hold and more tears began to pour from his body and soul… "Ritsuka I'm sorry for everything….hehehe…I bet you're getting tired to the word sorry huh…can you ever forgive me for all that I've done…" Ritsuka then looked up to see Soubi's face light up when a lightening bolt struck close by and showed Soubi's shadowed face…to Ritsuka it was a beautiful sight indeed to see the very person he cared for looking down at him and holding him close…it was then that Ritsuka got the courage to move upward towards Soubi and gently put his lips against Soubi's which turned out to be the beginning of a very passionate kiss…which they both had been craving for a long time…

"Does that answer your question…?" Not even giving him a chance to finish his statement, Soubi quickly brought him up, and switched positions, which had Ritsuka underneath Soubi, and Soubi on top.

Give it all away  
Just to have somewhere to go to  
Give it all away  
To have someone to come home to 

"Don't play with me…you should know I tend to lose control and I don't want to hurt you…or make you feel uncomfortable in any way…"

Ritsuka slowly brought his hands up to caress Soubi's face, never breaking eye contact; he slid his hands down Soubi's neck and chest, where his hands glided over _"BELOVED" _he began to speak softly in a tone where only Soubi could hear…in tone where he sounded seduced…

"This mark that says _BELOVED _is what you are to me… I know I don't show it at times…but I do care about you Soubi…more then you'll ever know…" he begun to cry and shiver as Soubi placed his hand on Ritsuka's face… " So you see no matter what you do…you…you can never hu…hurt me…and even if there is time such as that…I'll still…." But he said no more…for he couldn't…Soubi silenced him with a kiss that could only be shared by two lovers…

Give it all away  
Just to have somewhere to go to  
Give it all away  
To have someone to come home to

a/n: well there you go….you really do feel like your there if you listen to the song…tell me how you like and I guarantee I'll continue this story… I need at least 5 reviews…X3X3X3


	2. Chapter 2: Bittersweet

a/n: hey everyone…thanks for all the great reviews…I'm glad you enjoyed this new story and it's first chapter…I hope you enjoy the second chapter just as much…R&R!!!

_**Never Ending Story**_

**Chapter Two: Bittersweet**

**Disclaimer: I do not own this song or the anime…(I wish I did)**

Summery-

It's another cold December night and I'm once again lying in my room listening to my mothers cries of sorrow…I can't stand it…the pain in her cries…the guilt look on her face……even the pain she puts on me when ever I do something that reminds her of…HIM… where are you when I need you Soubi…where could you have gone…I need you now more than ever…please…save me from this hell Soubi…save me from the very thing that eats me up inside…save me…from…HIM…

_Previously…_

"_Ritsuka I'm sorry for everything….hehehe…I bet you're getting tired to the word sorry huh…can you ever forgive me for all that I've done…" Ritsuka then looked up to see Soubi's face light up when a lightening bolt struck close by and showed Soubi's shadowed face…to Ritsuka it was a beautiful sight indeed to see the very person he cared for looking down at him and holding him close…it was then that Ritsuka got the courage to move upward towards Soubi and gently put his lips against Soubi's which turned out to be the beginning of a very passionate kiss…which they both had been craving for a long time…_

"_Does that answer your question…?" Not even giving him a chance to finish his statement, Soubi quickly brought him up, and switched positions, which had Ritsuka underneath Soubi, and Soubi on top._

_Give it all away  
Just to have somewhere to go to  
Give it all away  
To have someone to come home to _

"_Don't play with me…you should know I tend to lose control and I don't want to hurt you…or make you feel uncomfortable in any way…"_

_Ritsuka slowly brought his hands up to caress Soubi's face, never breaking eye contact; he slid his hands down Soubi's neck and chest, where his hands glided over "BELOVED" he began to speak softly in a tone where only Soubi could hear…in tone where he sounded seduced…_

"_This mark that says BELOVED is what you are to me… I know I don't show it at times…but I do care about you Soubi…more then you'll ever know…" he begun to cry and shiver as Soubi placed his hand on Ritsuka's face… " So you see no matter what you do…you…you can never hu…hurt me…and even if there is time such as that…I'll still…." But he said no more…for he couldn't…Soubi silenced him with a kiss that could only be shared by two lovers…_

_Give it all away  
Just to have somewhere to go to  
Give it all away  
To have someone to come home to_

Present…

After they broke apart from their very heated kiss they pressed their foreheads together looking into one others lustful eyes…as Soubi moved a piece of hair from Ritsuka's face he smirked as he noticed a blush showing across his face…

_If I tell you  
Will you listen?  
Will you stay?  
Will you be here forever?  
Never go away?  
Never thought things would change, hold me tight  
Please don't say again that you have to go_

"Ritsuka…am I making you hot? You're looking a little flushed…"he then lightly kissed the piece of hair in his hand while trailing his other hand in Ritsuka's lower region…

_A bitter thought  
I had it all  
But I just let it go  
Hold your silence  
It's so violence since you're gone_

This act made Ritsuka blush even more…"Well if it wasn't for you I…I…" but he couldn't finish his sentence since all his senses went into Soubi's gentle touch, which was slowly going down past the collar of his open shirt… **(Now to anyone who is confused he using the hand which held Ritsuka's hair…the other one is still going south…) **lightly gliding the tips of his fingers across his now exposed chest…he began placing light butterfly kisses starting from his lips, to his neck, to his collar bone, to his chest where he was playing with his left and right nipple…

_All my thoughts are with you forever  
'Till the day we'll be back together  
I will be waiting for you_

"Soubi…" he said while biting down on his knuckle to keep himself from moaning…

"Tell me what it is that you wish to have…tell me Ritsuka…what do you want from me…" he began descending downward again this time removing Ritsuka's shirt completely, and tossing it to the floor…Ritsuka opened his eyes just a bit letting Soubi's words real-through his mind…

_If I had told you  
You would've listened  
You had stayed  
You would be here forever  
Never went away_

'_Tell me what it is that you wish to have…tell me Ritsuka…what you want from me…'_ 'What I wish for…what I want…I…I…wait what am I doing…stop…this…has…to…'

_It would never have been all the same  
All our time what have been in vain  
Cause you had to go_

"STOP!!!" yelled Ritsuka.

Soubi stopped his assault, but didn't move from his spot, which was the rim of Ritsuka's pants, eyes wide in shock. Ritsuka kept panting trying to control his breathing…he still tried registering what almost happened between them…

'Why did I tell him to stop…isn't this what I wanted…what I've been craving for all this time…then why did I stop?'

Ritsuka was brought back to reality when he felt Soubi's cold hand gently caress his face. He took in Soubi's features noticing he was half-naked and still dripping from the rain…his skin shined off from the lightening that came from the storm…he also noticed that his eyes had changed from the once happy and playful, to the now sorrow and lustful…

_The sweetest thought  
Had it all  
Cause I did let you go  
All our moments keep me warm  
When you're gone_

"What's wrong Ritsuka? Are you not happy? Do you wish for me to leave?" his hand starts falling from Ritsuka's face until his hand was being held tight by Ritsuka's who wasn't planning to let go…he brought Soubi's hand to his chest over his beating heart…

"I'm sorry Soubi…it's not that I'm not happy or that I wish for you to leave…but I don't think I'm ready for this…I…I need more time if that's okay…" he looked up to Soubi with his innocent shimmering eyes which were covered in tears…

Soubi just smiled and pulled Ritsuka into a huge hug with his arms covering his young innocent body… "Of course it's okay…you take all the time in the world…I can wait…" and they remained that way happy and content with one another's presence…

_All my thoughts are with you forever  
'Till the day we'll be back together  
I will be waiting for you_

a/n: There you go I know my chapters are short but I promise you the next one will be awesome…reviewreviewreviewX3


	3. Chapter 3: Hell is for Children

a/n: where do I begin? I'm not even sure myself right now………I'm just sitting here writing what ever is on my mind…. Enjoy!!! R&R!!!!

Chapter 3 – "Hell is for Children"

Disclaimer: I do not own this anime or the song

As I cracked open my eyes I was blinded by a bright light, I knew it was morning, as I turned in my sheets I see the other side of my bed is empty but an imprint is left in _his _place…

_Soubi…_

smirk he never could stay in one place for too long…'the least he could've done was say' "goodbye". I then looked towards my balcony and noticed the door was still open, I'm guessing he forgot to close it when he left….

_They cry in the dark, so you can't see their tears  
They hide in the light, so you can't see their fears  
Forgive and forget, all the while  
Love and pain become one and the same  
In the eyes of a wounded child  
_

As I got up and got ready for school I begun to notice the shape my bruises had taken, and the coloring had gotten worse. As my fingers lightly grazed them I winced, since, they still burn with pain. She has gotten more creative when it comes to punishing me. 'With any luck she decided to sleep in today.' Everything was the same routine, if I didn't eat my breakfast or didn't behave like his late brother, Seimei, I would get beaten for it.

There were times I was lucky enough to get away in the morning, but once I got home in the afternoon I had to pay the price. The funny thing was………she would always cream out,

"You're not my son…

_Because Hell  
Hell Is For Children  
And you know that their little lives can become such a mess  
Hell  
Hell Is For Children  
And you shouldn't have to pay for your love with your bones and your flesh_

You're not my child…"

She's right……I'm not her child……because if I were……she wouldn't be trying to kill me…

In the Kitchen…

As I quietly walked through the kitchen, trying not to make any sounds, I grasped the door knob and just as I was about to open the door…

_It's all so confusing, this brutal abusing  
They blacken your eyes, and then apologize  
Be daddy's good girl, and don't tell mommy a thing  
Be a good little boy, and you'll get a new toy  
Tell grandma you fell off the swing_

"Don't you want your breakfast?"

'sigh' I slowly turned around and decided I didn't need anymore bruises. As I sat down and began to eat, my very over cooked breakfast, she sat across from me and stared only at me.

"How is it? Tell me the truth." She wanted the truth so I gave it to her.

"I don't like it…you should know that I hate jam on my bread…and these pickles are over burnt…" as she took all this in I could tell she was about to lose it. I took this as a sign for me to leave; as I reached the door.

"CRASH"

_Because Hell  
Hell Is For Children  
And you know that their little lives can become such a mess  
Hell  
Hell Is For Children  
And you shouldn't have to pay for your love with your bones and your flesh_

I looked down to find a broken plate still full of food…my food… "You spoiled little brat…I slave all morning making you the perfect breakfast…and you come and tell me that you don't like it…well that's just too damn bad……" and before I could react the left side of my face was stingy with pain; the next thing I know I'm being tossed in to the kitchen table and I can not breath.

This woman who claims to be my mother is choking me; she is punishing me with love according to her. Oh yes, I really do feel the love. Just so you know………I am being sarcastic.

_No, Hell Is For Children_

My eyes are being blinded by darkness…

_Hell  
Hell is for Hell  
Hell is for Hell  
Hell Is For Children_

My lungs are dying out on me…

My heart is about to leap out of my chest…

Its as if she's really trying to kill me…my eyes then widened in realization… 'she is trying to kill me' I began to panic with fear I throw my arms are her…I began to kick, lash out my legs anything to get her away from me.

_Hell  
Hell is for Hell  
Hell is for Hell  
Hell Is For Children_

'Soubi…'

I struggle to breath…

'Soubi…help me…'

My lungs are about to explode…

'Please…Soubi…'

My hands cling to hers…trying to wrench them off…

'Soubi…'

_Hell  
Hell is for Hell  
Hell is for Hell  
Hell Is For Children_

Darkness is clouding my vision…

'No…Soubi…'

My hands lose grip…they fall to my sides…with very little air I have I whisper under my breath…

"Soubi…"

Darkness is all I see…complete darkness…

_Hell Is For Children  
Hell Is For Children_

a/n: well I hope you enjoyed this chapter I know it seems short but I promise the next one to be a bit longer. R&R!!!


	4. Chapter 4: All Good Things

An: hey every one I know I haven't updated on this story in a while and ppl are asking what's going to happen next?!?!?!?!?…and I'm thinking if I don't update soon….they might actually come after me….OO; I suggest listening to Nelly Furtado's: "All Good Things"

* * *

Chapter 4: All Good Things

_Past_

_Hell  
Hell is for Hell  
Hell is for Hell  
Hell Is For Children_

'Soubi…'

I struggle to breath…

'Soubi…help me…'

My lungs are about to explode…

'Please…Soubi…'

My hands cling to hers…trying to wrench them off…

'Soubi…'

_Hell  
Hell is for Hell  
Hell is for Hell  
Hell Is For Children_

Darkness is clouding my vision…

'No…Soubi…'

My hands lose grip…they fall to my sides…with very little air I have I whisper under my breath…

"Soubi…"

Darkness is all I see…complete darkness…

_Hell Is For Children  
Hell Is For Children_

* * *

Present

_I couldn't help but feel at peace after everything I just endured…is this what it feels like to die…_

Soubi… 

Is this what heaven will feel like to me…will it become my new home now…

_Soubi…_

_Will I ever get to see him again…or will I linger alone in darkness…._

_Ritsuka…._

'_Huh?' What was that? _

_Who's there?_

_Or who's here?_

_Ritsuka!!!_

_Who's calling me…why do I feel so cold?_

_Ritsuka!!!!_

_Soubi?!?!?!? I'm here…somewhere…but I'm here…can't you hear me…damn why is it so cold…_

_Ritsuka!!!!_

_Ritsuka!!!_

"RITSUKA!!!!"

My eyes suddenly snapped open and I came face to face…or rather face to chest with… "Soubi?" my voice was very horse…how long was out? I tried to move but found it to be a very difficult task to do…"Soubi…why can't I move?"

"Maybe because you're in a hospital with enough medication to take out fifty-some men…" a familiar voice was heard, and I instantly saw Soubi's roommate smiling down at me… "You probably don't remember me from the last time we meet…" "Kio" "Huh?" I slowly sat up in my bed…actually it was more like Soubi's as I've come to realize that this wasn't my home… "Ritsuka…watch it…you're still to weak…" but ignored his plea and looked Kio in the eyes…

"That is your name is it not? Kio Kaido…"

"Yeah that's right…umm…I didn't think you would remember me…shakes his head a little and begins to giggle but I guess I was wrong…"

We were left with utter silence…actually more like dead silence…that is until another familiar voice came out of nowhere… "Ritsuka!!!" Yep that's Yuiko for ya. "Are you okay…everyone at school is talking about it…oh my…" she then placed her hand on my face where it stung the most my cheek…

"I'm sorry…are you hungry…I can make you something really delicious and it'll help you get your strength back…"

"No thanks I told her…I'm not that hungry…"

"How dare you deny Yuiko's delicious food even when she's offering it to you…"

Damn where is everyone coming from…am I like on some anime series and I don't even know it yet( hahaha I had to put that there) it was non-other than yayoi

"Soubi…why do I get the feeling you had something to do with this?" I could feel my blood begin to boil from anger…I then notice backing away slowly "Now Ritsuka…I was only doing my duty as a friend to them…when word got to them about the accident…"

'_accident?' _

"they called and I couldn't deny them or keep the truth from them now could I…that wouldn't make me a very good friend…"

'_accident? What accident?'_

"GASP"

* * *

Flashback

_Suddenly I was hit with a stream of memories of that morning…the beatings…the hurtful, cut throat words…the pain…the blood…the darkness… "You're not my son…you're not my child!!!"_

"_CRASH"_

"_You spoiled little brat…I slave all morning making you the perfect breakfast…and you come and tell me that you don't like it…well that's just too damn bad……" _

_and before I could react the left side of my face was stingy with pain; the next thing I know I'm being tossed in to the kitchen table and I can not breath._

_This woman who claims to be my mother is choking me_

_My eyes are being blinded by darkness…_

_My lungs are dying out on me…_

_My heart is about to leap out of my chest…_

End of Flashback

* * *

"GASP"

'That's right…that morning mom went…crazy…she was actually going to kill me…kill me…' as I thought this I closed my eyes and the tears quietly fell down the sides of my face…seeing this Soubi told everyone to leave…that I needed my "rest" after everyone left he came back to the bed only this time he joined me and wrapped his arms around my fragile body…I couldn't stop the nerves shaking in my body…I couldn't stop the blush that was reaching my cheeks…I was sure he could see it… "chuckle"…did Soubi just chuckle?

I looked up and he was laughing at me…instantly I got angered by this and pushed him off the bed making a loud "THUD!!!" luckily no one came up to check on us…(aww…poor Soubi)

"Oww…what was that for?"

"For laughing at me…even after I just went through something traumatic in my life…"

_Honestly what will become of me_

_don't like reality_

_It's way too clear to me_

_But really life is daily_

_We are what we don't see_

:tears:

Oh no…they were coming back…just like when I couldn't stop them before…I couldn't stop them now. So I let them fall. I watched as my tears came in contact with his bed sheets…I began to wonder what else came in contact with these sheets…then the thought finally registered in my head and the images came through…

Instantly I wanted to jump off that bed and take a very cold shower…but Soubi was in my way…and I was kind of happy about that. "Ritsuka what's wrong?" he held me once again in his arms…but this time I didn't let go "There's something more isn't there?"

_Flames to dust_

_Lovers to friends_

_Why do all good things come to an end_

_Flames to dust_

_Lovers to friends_

_Why do all good things come to an end_

_come to an end come to an_

_Why do all good things come to end?_

_come to an end come to an_

_Why do all good things come to an end?_

'I couldn't tell him…I couldn't let him know…I'm supposed to be the brave one…the strong one…' the tears kept falling and I felt his gentle, warm hands caress my face…and he wiped the tears away… "Soubi…when you said accident…what did you mean exactly"

"I don't think you want to know right now…not in your condition"

He was right I didn't "Please tell me" but I knew it was inevitable…sooner or later I was going to find out what he was talking about so…might as well get it over with…

"I don't know where to start…"

"How about at the beginning?" I noticed the smirk that grew on his face at my reply…he then faced me and held on to me tighter… "When I got your call…I know this is going to sound horrible but…when I got your call I suddenly thought to myself…"I'm not going make it this time…I'm going to be too late this time…" but as I kept running I knew I just had to try…I couldn't give up"

_Traveling I only stop at exits_

_Wondering if I'll stay_

_Young and restless_

_Living this way I stress less_

_I want to pull away when the dream dies_

_The pain sets in and I don't cry_

_I only feel gravity and I wonder why_

I noticed his grip tightened around me and he began shaking…I knew I was going to soon regret ever asking him to tell me…

"Horror is what froze me to the very spot outside your home…your home was engulfed in flames and I thought I was too late…"

I began to shake myself…my home was up in flames…which meant everything I worked so hard for was gone…everything…

"I quickly ran inside when I heard you call for me one last time…I found you on top of your kitchen table with a knife piercing the skin on your hand…blood was running down the table to the floor where I found the source of the fire…"

I just wanted to cry…how could I not have felt the pain…how could I not felt the heat…all I remember was feeling cold…maybe I really was dying…

_Flames to dust_

_Lovers to friends_

_Why do all good things come to an end_

_Flames to dust_

_Lovers to friends_

_Why do all good things come to an end_

"Soubi…what happened?" I asked…I knew my voice was shaky…and I was still weak…but I just had to know…

"When I picked you up in my arms I found that you were very light…I guessed at the time you had lost too much blood…but when I rushing to get you out of the house…what I saw next…I wasn't prepared for…"

_come to an end come to an_

_Why do all good things come to end?_

_come to an end come to an_

_Why do all good things come to an end?_

_Well the dogs were whistling a new tune_

_Barking at the new moon_

_Hoping it would come soon so that they could_

_Dogs were whistling a new tune_

_Barking at the new moon_

_Hoping it would come soon so that they could_

_Die die die die die_

He began choking up…I couldn't believe this…I knew for a fact that Soubi was never the type to show his emotions…to anyone…but what I heard next…I knew I was not going to be able to control my actions…

"She was a very horrifying sight to see…she was covered in blood from head to toe…I tried but I couldn't save her in time…"

_Flames to dust_

_Lovers to friends_

_Why do all good things come to an end_

_Flames to dust_

_Lovers to friends_

_Why do all good things come to an end_

_come to an end come to an_

_Why do all good things come to end?_

_come to an end come to an_

_Why do all good things come to an end?_

I knew who he was talking about…but I had to hear it from him…just to make sure… "Soubi who is "she"?" he then looked me in the eye where his eyes were haunting and held depth behind them…

"Your mother…"

I lost it…I could not believe she took the easy way out…she did the foolish thing by killing herself just to be free from all the problems in the world…how very selfish of her…

"There was something else…" I waited for him to continue "All over the walls she wrote in her blood… "not my son…not my son…not my son…"

"chuckle" I couldn't help it…it was the only thing I could do… "You know what's funny…she said the same thing…when she tried to kill me…" the tears came out again but this time Soubi was there to comfort me and help me through this…

My name is Ritsuka Ayogai, I am 13 years old, and I am an orphan…I have no mother…a father who doesn't really give a crap about me…my brother was killed…and this is my life…as LOVELESS…

_Well the dogs were barking at a new moon_

_Whistling a new tune_

_Hoping it would come soon_

_And the sun was wondering if it should stay away for a day til the feeling went away_

_And the sky was falling on the clouds were dropping and_

_the rain forgot how to bring salvation_

_the dogs were barking at the new moon_

_Whistling a new tune_

_Hoping it would come soon so that they could die._

TO BE CONTINUED…

* * *

a/n: are you guys happy I know I am…who would've thought I'd go into so much detail…also if you read this with the chosen song I think you'd get the full effect…anyway…I won't update unless I've got 10 REVIEWS ON THIS CHAPTER…ja ne… 


	5. Chapter 5:Numb

a/n: Hey my loyal fans I know you've been dying to read the next chapter so here it is. I really hope you enjoy it because it took me a while to come up with it…not really…hahaha… R&R!!!! (Song by Linkin Park-Numb)

Chapter Five: Numb

_(Past)_

_Flames to dust_

_Lovers to friends_

_Why do all good things come to an end_

_Flames to dust_

_Lovers to friends_

_Why do all good things come to an end_

_come to an end come to an_

_Why do all good things come to end?_

_come to an end come to an_

_Why do all good things come to an end?_

I knew who he was talking about…but I had to hear it from him…just to make sure… "Soubi who is "she"?" he then looked me in the eye where his eyes were haunting and held depth behind them…

"Your mother…"

I lost it…I could not believe she took the easy way out…she did the foolish thing by killing herself just to be free from all the problems in the world…how very selfish of her…

"There was something else…" I waited for him to continue "All over the walls she wrote in her blood… "not my son…not my son…not my son…"

"chuckle" I couldn't help it…it was the only thing I could do… "You know what's funny…she said the same thing…when she tried to kill me…" the tears came out again but this time Soubi was there to comfort me and help me through this…

My name is Ritsuka Ayogai, I am 13 years old, and I am an orphan…I have no mother…a father who doesn't really give a crap about me…my brother was killed…and this is my life…as LOVELESS…

_Well the dogs were barking at a new moon_

_Whistling a new tune_

_Hoping it would come soon_

_And the sun was wondering if it should stay away for a day til the feeling went away_

_And the sky was falling on the clouds were dropping and_

_the rain forgot how to bring salvation_

_the dogs were barking at the new moon_

_Whistling a new tune_

_Hoping it would come soon so that they could die._

(Present)

Ritsuka's P.O.V.

As I laid in Soubi's arms, trying to sleep, I couldn't escape the horrible images that were going through my mind. I couldn't sleep for I feared that once I closed my eyes I wouldn't be able to open them again. _'No, I could not sleep and I would not sleep.'_ I gently moved out of Soubi's arms and moved to the edge of the bed hoping he wouldn't stir. _'Soubi I wish I could stop this…all of this…I just can't take it anymore.'_

_I'm tired of being what you want me to be  
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface  
Don't know what you're expecting of me  
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes_

With that thought in my mind I quickly ran out of the room and out the door to the outside where a storm was in affect. "I can't take it…I don't want this…I just want it all to stop…" I was suddenly hit with a gust of wind, at full force, into one of the sliding glass doors, making it shatter into millions of pieces. It's a miracle no one had woken up with all this noise. I soon found myself covered in shards, and blood flowing out of all the wounds, which covered my body. I could feel the cold rain hitting my skin, the shards digging into my back, the dirt getting into my wounds causing them to sting like hell.

'_Soubi…I feel so numb…I can't even feel the rain hitting my skin…or the blood flowing from my veins…not even the pain that once struck my very core…' _I was soon surrounded in darkness and thought only one thing… _'Is this what it feels like to be numb…to the point you can't feel any pain?'_

_(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)  
Every step that I take is another mistake to you  
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)_

I soon felt the ground under me shake and the rain coming down harder on top of me…it soon surrounded me in a puddle. _'puddle?'_

I awoke and found myself to be caught in flood outside. I couldn't believe it…how long was I out? How come no one has found me? Or noticed me missing? Have they forgotten me?

_I've become so numb I can't feel you there  
Become so tired so much more aware  
I'm becoming this all I want to do  
Is be more like me and be less like you_

"I see you're awake…took you long enough…"

'_What!?'_

I forced myself to look up and found myself looking into the eyes of a man I had never met before…but for some reason I felt as if I knew him…but why?

"Who-who are you?" I forced the words out of me knowing I wasn't going to last in my condition if I stayed out here any longer. I picked myself up with whatever strength I had left.

_Can't you see that you're smothering me  
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control  
Cause everything that you thought I would be  
Has fallen apart right in front of you  
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)  
Every step that I take is another mistake to you  
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)  
And every second I waste is more than I can take_

"I see…well there's no reason you should know who I am…but I'm surprised Soubi hasn't told you about me…after all I was the man who sent him to kill you…"

:thump:

_Can't you see that you're smothering me  
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control  
Cause everything that you thought I would be  
Has fallen apart right in front of you  
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)  
Every step that I take is another mistake to you  
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)  
And every second I waste is more than I can take_

:thump:

_And I know  
I may end up failing too  
But I know  
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you_

:thump:

_I've become so numb I can't feel you there  
Become so tired so much more aware  
I'm becoming this all I want to do  
Is be more like me and be less like you_

'_Him? He was the one who wanted me dead?'_

I'll admit I knew for some time that Soubi was sent to kill me…but I never thought I would meet the actual person who sent him after me. Never in a million years…but now he's here practically telling me he wants me dead.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why kill me? What did I ever do to you that you had felt reason enough to kill me?"

:chuckle: he laughed off my question, which personally pissed me off, he then began walking towards me…I instantly knew what he was planning…but for some reason I couldn't move.

_I've become so numb I can't feel you there  
Become so tired so much more aware  
I'm becoming this all I want to do  
Is be more like me and be less like you_

'_Why can't I move? What's keeping me from escaping?' _ I flinched when I watched his pale fingers reaching for my face, and yet I still couldn't find the courage to move. He caressed my face, like a man would do his wife, except this was meant to be a final farewell.

"You could have been a wonderful pupil you know that? I even informed your brother about my plans about recruiting you."

:chuckle: there it was again…that annoying laughter that only meant trouble for you.

"Although sadly, he didn't agree with "us" and that sadly…led to his demise…"

My eyes widened. He-he was the one who sent my brother into hells domain. Everyone thought he had committed suicide, but I knew…I knew there was something else behind it, but why my brother? Why him? If they wanted me why not just take me?

"Why…why did he have to die?"

"Hmm?"

"If I was what you wanted why not just take me? Why kill him instead?" I noticed the tone of my voice had increased because of anger. Why shouldn't I be angry? This bastard standing in front of me had my brother murdered!!!

"You-you"

"Yes…if you wish to speak before I kill you just speak…they will be your last words for sure…" his hand descended towards my neck in a painful grip.

_I've become so numb I can't feel you there  
Become so tired so much more aware  
I'm becoming this all I want to do  
Is be more like me and be less like you_

:gasp: I felt my breath decreasing as he tightened his hold on me. My only chance of living through this was a long shot…but I had to try…

"You…YOU BASTARD!!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs and kicked as hard as I could aim for his torso…thank kami it worked. He doubled over in pain, and let go his grip. Now was my chance to escape. I quickly ran for the door but fell flat on my face as I felt a hold on my leg. I look to see he recovered pretty quickly, too quickly, I thought. "Let go of me…" I was not about to have this asshole do me in like my brother.

He began getting up, still having a strong hold on me…and I couldn't bare it. His nails dug into the wounds that were still bleeding from my legs. I held back the tears that were stinging to come out. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of that.

"You escaped me once I won't let it happen again!!"

He lunged for me and threw his hands on my neck once again. Had pinned my legs under him and my arms were no use, for the fall had wounded them both seriously. (PICTURE AS IF YOU FELL AND PUT YOUR ARMS OUT IN FRONT OF YOU AND THE BOTH WENT SEPARATE DIRECTION IN THE WRONG WAY…OwO; yeah that's painful) I couldn't put much of an effort against him and I couldn't scream out for help because…

the storm was making it impossible for anyone to hear me

the man above me was making it hard to breath…making it impossible for me to scream

Kami…had decided to pick on me today…

"Don't worry kid…it will be over soon…who know I might decide to recreate my newest pupil into you…in memory of what could have been…what do you think of that?"

"Go-go-GO TO HELL"

"I think you've got it backwards…you see that's where you're going…"

And just like that everything in my world went black…again…hmm…is it me or is this happening a lot to me lately…\

All I know is that before I met the "darkness" I faintly heard the call of my name…_'Ritsuka…'_

'_Soubi?'_

Well…like I always say…better late then never…

**a/n: Well there you go…I hope you like this chapter. I'm expecting at least 10 reviews…plz.R&R!!!**

**w ja ne**

**Oh yeah..thnx too:**

** Shuichi77hugs**

**They Call Me Soysauce hugs**

**Emerald Gazehugs**

**soubi202 glomps**

**animekimihugs**

**Kerushii Naraglomps**

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**and everyone else!!!!!**

**Byebye **

**  
**


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